You just had a baby and everyone is head over heels. It’s an exciting time when you see people come in and out of your home, visiting and showing you and your baby some good lovin’. However, not everyone knows that “happy mommy” isn’t always completely happy. Sure, we just had a baby but when some of us look in the mirror we see ourselves in a different light. We may feel guilty for feeling this way after receiving one of life’s biggest blessings, however, it’s almost inevitable to look in the mirror and see the same pre-pregnancy woman we were so use to. We are “fuller” in areas we weren’t before; we are swollen to the point that shoes don’t fit us quite yet and we still look about six months pregnant. The above may not be everyone’s “reality”; however, it is definitely the “reality” many of us Moms face.
When I had Dayana I was new to it all, I had no clue these feelings would at some point make me question my “beauty” and hinder me from looking into the mirror on some days. While pregnant with Dayana, I was on prednisone since week 15 to the day I gave birth to her at 37 weeks and 6 days due to a condition called, PUPPS. Consequently, I gained a total of 61lbs, 34lbs of that being water due to the medication – which I lost in 3 days. Nonetheless, I gained the weight and boy did it show! I wore Crocs for about 2 months until the swelling came down. I wasn’t able to wear my anklets, bracelets or rings for about five months after she was born and to add insult to injury I looked like I was still pregnant for a good six months. I also wore maternity clothes for a good amount of time. It didn’t matter how much make up I put on or how “cute” I tried to look, when I saw myself in the mirror I would feel fat and ugly.
Now here I am again, six months after having my second daughter, Gabriella. Immediately after she was born, I still found it difficult to look into the mirror. It wasn’t until one day when she was about a week old that I decided things would be different this time around. I decided to take that intense desire I had to be ME again in a positive mode and refuse to allow it to bring me down to the point that I ever questioned my “beauty”. I would like to share that “new” way of thinking in hopes that it will empower you to remain focused on what’s important and that is, being true to yourself.
We must keep in mind that having a baby is one of life’s greatest blessings and although it takes a toll on our bodies, we cannot allow that aesthetic change to define us. YOU define YOU! Say it again, YOU define YOU! Society is very good at defining people, subject matters and norms, however, we need to step up and define things for ourselves.
I am currently defining myself as a mother 0f 2 beautiful healthy girls who in the process of having these children have changed in the way I look. I may not appear like myself right now but I AM ME! I may not be able to wear all of my clothes but I WILL SOON. I make these affirmations for me but also for those who feel this way about themselves right now.
Stay positive and focused on your goals and trust me, YOU WILL not only make your goals; but surpass them. Remember that it’s only natural to feel this way after a baby however it is just as natural to LOVE who you are as well.
How do you define yourself? Who are YOU?