Lean on Me - Support Systems
By Mami Daphne
Since moving from New York to North Carolina six years ago having mommy friends as my support system has been a life line for me. My family and I relocated to NC with no immediate family or friends nearby. It was a life changing experience for me especially with having kids. After the first few months went by and I realized, what seemed like a vacation, was really a permanent stay for us. At that moment of realization my next thought was “Who will I trust to watch my kids if I needed help?”
Sure enough the anxiety kicked into high gear. The only people that had ever watched my children when I lived in NY was my mom and sisters. What was I to do?
Thus began my journey of making new friends and building new relationships with other moms. As time passed these new friends became like family to me. They became my support system in times of need. I realized being a mom and running a full-time business one cannot predict if and when things will run smoothly. Children get sick. Emergencies arise. I’m left with trying to figure out a way to juggle and handle it all. Luckily, great friends have pitched in to babysit in my hours of need. And in return I am there for them when they need me.
What I’ve learned as a mom is that it’s ok to lean on each other and help each other out. Go outside of your comfort zone and reach out to others. Know that you are not alone, even if at times it may feel like it. Being home with my children and being a mompreneur certainly presents it’s obstacles. So knowing I have friends/neighbors to help out in a pinch is a wonderful blessing and a support system we should all have.
Who is a part of your support system? Has that changed over the years? Let me know who you leaned on for support. Would love to hear all about it!
Having a support system is definitely a lifeline when you are a mom. My immediate family is in Ohio and even though I have inlaws here, they all work and have busy lifestyles. I’ve established a good support system with a few of my closest neighbors and friends. This is especially great when there is a last minute emergency or if routine care plans back fire.
I like to consider most of my arrangements as a babysitter’s co-op. There are a few friends and neighbors that swap out care with me. It helps eliminate any feelings of alienation or that someone is being taken advantage of. This co-op philosophy is awesome because as you know, even the teenage babysitters aren’t cheap.
With our support systems comes great relationships, friendships and good times. This leads to another type of support that all of us moms need. It’s mandatory for survival. A day at the spa, lunch out or a movie with a friend or two helps all of us receive some sort of balance.
So whether it be a phone call just to say “hello” or an extension of a helping hand, it’s critical that where ever you live, relocate to or the circumstances you have, that you build a network. It’s the only solution.
I also moved from New York leaving all of my family behind. It’s been 13 1/2 years for me though. Being a mom of 4 children ranging in ago from 14 yrs old to 4 months old I can relate. I have also encounter those situations where you worry about who you would leave your children with if something goes wrong and you can’t wait 12 hours or more for family to get here. I like your blog. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks ladies for your wonderful comments and insight. Moms are truly amazing women and helping each other out especially in times of need truly shows society even more so who we are-Strong Women
thank you again for reading my post.