Mondays with Mimi - If the Shoe Fits
By Mommy Mimi
Sometimes it is necessary to be honest with ourselves when it comes to our parental tendencies. Parenting is a tough task and at any given time there are a number of things that we could be doing right and just as many that we could be doing wrong.
As a SAHM it is easy to assume that I spend quality time with my children because I am with them every day. Last week my son was on Spring Break and I had an epiphany. I pay more attention to my daughter than I do my son. Using the excuse that my daughter is a baby has grown old. My son requires just as much of my attention, yet in a different capacity and there are many times when I have failed to cater to him, as I should. I find myself in awe at everything the baby does while assuming that my son doesn’t require as much affirmation from me. The truth of the matter is he still needs me and I haven’t done the best job at balancing between the two.
I was told that making the transition from one to two was not going to be an easy task, and those words of wisdom have proven themselves true. I was quite confident that I would be the mother who would effortlessly juggle my roles as a mother, wife and entrepreneur with ease but the truth is my life feels as if it’s in a constant state of disarray on the best of days and it seems my children may be catching the brunt of it.
Crying over spilled milk, I don’t do. Fixing things, I’m the master at. As hard as it’s going to be, I am making an executive decision to start limiting my time on the computer and phone when they are awake. I am working on a number of professional tasks but those things will have to wait until my husband comes home from work or they are in bed. If that means I don’t sleep then so be it! While I have my own goals, my roles as a mother and wife come first. I have a feeling there will be many sleepless nights but I’m guessing that’s what Starbucks is for!
Have you found it difficult to pay your children equal amounts of attention? Do you have any habits or tendencies that might be stealing valuable time from your children?
This is tough. My son is 8, my daughter is 5 and my baby girl is 10 months. I really treasure the time I get to spend alone with each of them, but I have to be particularly careful to ensure my 5 year old gets the one on one time she needs. Even if it’s just extra long tuck-ins at bedtime, asking her to help me with chores and cooking (even if it will make the process take longer!) etc. She’s the middle child and she’s no longer the baby girl and plus she naturally has the kind of personality that really craves attention. All kids do, but you know what I mean. Overall though, the big kids have been very very understanding that the baby sometimes requires extra time, but I try to make up for that as much as possible. I don’t get it right everyday though, all we can do is try to be aware.
It has been hard to balance especially when I first had my daughter I paid my son no attention but now I have found balance. What I do now is when we come home from school I make that lesson time and talk time while I cook dinner it’s all about my son. I usually put on dora for the baby so I can give my whole attention to my son. I also try and read him a story every night before bed to spend that extra time with him.
Aww man! I had this discussion with my mother often when I was younger when it was evident that she favored my brother more. She was never good at hiding it, but I think it was because he was her 1st (and maybe a little more agreeing with her than me ::blush::). But I think it’s important that BOTH kids feel that they have mom’s attention when they need it.